EDitorial ± 6-May-2003

Seven Signs Of Aging

Have a butcher's at that none-too-great snapshot below and you'll notice my unkempt hair, badly (but not baldy) in need of a trim. What's not obvious is that my nomadic wannabe sideburn is sprouting a few <whisper>grey hairs</whisper> in a Wolverine-meets-Rogue stylee.

That nice young man Tony Blair may have hit 50 today but none of us is getting any younger, sweetheart, not even those pre-teens advertising Olay. Is this wonder product no longer an oil? Was its name a non-U word? Fax your MP for answers now.

I'm getting ready for my best years
Approaching 40
Not as unhappy as I could be
Approaching 40
— I Ludicrous, Approaching 40

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

My own seven signs of aging:

  1. taking longer in the bathroom — not entirely due to reading the paper and listening to Five Live, but thanks to increased use of E45, hydrocortisone and floss
  2. repeating things I've already said — no example to hand
  3. aching after sport — squash on Saturday, and still waiting for my muscles to get over the shock; should have quit when I was ahead
  4. trouble remembering my age — have to recalculate from 1966, year of birth and Bobby Moore, each time I'm asked
  5. not being able to read for long in bed without falling asleep — use a mini Maglite sometimes, and have woken up more than once to find AA battery has died thanks to nodding off while torch still on
  6. forgetting words — particularly for different types of containers, eg jar, bottle, all other kinds
  7. repeating things I've already said — no example to hand

On the positive side, I can still outrun the two-year-old, most of the time, esp. when he's heading for the main road. And I have absolutely no problem staying up *this* late to finish these scribblings. Apart from the getting up the following morning and yawning non-stop at work.

If You Take Away With You Nothing Else

Official seven signs:

  • lines and wrinkles — knees and toes, knees and toes
  • rough skin texture — could strike a match
  • dullness of skin's appearance — quite the wan
  • larger appearance of pores — now they know how many holes
  • blotchiness — tropical disease
  • dry skin — flammable
  • age spots — like Strike It Lucky

Be seeing you!