EDitorial ± 22-Sep-2006
Top Ten Ways To Enhance The Ryder Cup
Top Ten Ways To Enhance The Ryder Cup for non-golf fans:
- to help tell who's who, players must dress up in a costume indicative of their name, eg Tiger Woods as Tony The Tiger, Colin Montgomery as Mr Burns, David Howell as Tessa Jowell, etc.
- each team to include one robotic player fully controllable by any kid with a Nintendo DS and a WiFi connection
- tournament to begin with a race down the 18th hole, The Hooker's Graveyard, with each team's players riding on a single motorised golf cart
- phone poll to decide on new name for the competition: press (1) for the Lynam Cup, (2) for the Bough Cup, or (3) for the Dickie Davies Cup
- non-stop speed singles: both players tee off simultaneously then sprint after their balls to take their second shot, and so on; first to hole wins
- at the 13th hole, Laurel Haven, competitors must play the ball through a small gap which is periodically obstructed by the sails of a giant windmill
- lose a hole, lose an item of clothing
- team captain can opt to play his exploding ball joker at any time during the round
- unlimited heckling & sledging as your opponent addresses the ball
- defeated side's players to act as personal butlers to winning side for a whole fortnight