Ever tried to find an open chippy in the Trimley locale gone 10:30pm on a wintry Monday? Don't waste your time. More than once Team Defiants, in dire need of fried food, has scoured the length of the High Road from St Martin to St Mary and up to Garrison Lane, passing one closed hot potato emporium after another. More than once said Team has ultimately settled on the ever reliable Bodrum Grill, the East Coast equivalent of Aberystwyth's 24 hour whelk stall.

Now, in windstruck daylight, we've taken the High Road West (see map) to sample the battered offerings at The Bounty, a self-proclaimed award winning takeaway. Their name often crops up on local newspaper Best Chippy lists and they're the proud owners of a Seafish Friers Quality Award, "nationally recognised for producing first class fish and chips". They don't give those awards away just for the halibut, skidoosh.

Light 'n' bright interior has a handful of smart blue seats if you're waiting: we'll be having ours to go, ta very much. Pukka pie, please, and chips, and mushy peas, and a bottle of cherry Coke. That Jamie off the telly would be proud. Ooh, and a Heinz ketchup: 20p here compared to 15p at J's. Andy's pleased to see cod roe on the menu; Grenvyle's drowning his peas in Sarson's. Back into the motor to find a picture-skew picnic location.

Which is how we found ourselves at the dock viewpoint by the Crow's Nest. Only a five minute wait before we landed a coveted front row seat: once you've got one of those sugar spots, you don't move. In hindsight, a chicken and mushroom pie wasn't the most sensible option when armed only with a wooden chipfork, never mind the mushy peas, as the Pistols said. And apologies, Andy, for the tomato sauce stain, should you find it. Very decent nosh.

If it was a car -- Mazda3 5 Door Hatchback.
If they were passing by -- Mick Aston.