EDitorial ± 27-Apr-2014
130Story: Worry / Chance / Berry / Tone / Egg
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Worry
Vision blurry, tongue feels furry, I shouldn't have finished that Creme Egg McFlurry. Does that even rhyme? Too late to worry. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 26, 2014
Chance
This is the wrong abbey? He nodded. You guys don't sing? He looked around, leaned over and whispered: "We're Trappist. No chants." @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 24, 2014
Berry
Growing wild, green berries we called goosegogs. Sour as you like but we were starving. The gripes! Got a day off school, though. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 24, 2014
Tone
I had the words ready on a napkin. "Becky, it's me. Ant. I'm in town. I need to explain why I did what I did." I dialled. NU tone. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 22, 2014
Egg
How Do You Eat Yours? That was one of mine. Can't Resist Them? That won awards. My team, they're the egg men. Me, I'm the egg man. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 21, 2014
EDitorial ± 24-Apr-2014
Light Lunches: Boss Hoggs, Copdock
There's a terrific black and white '60s film called Fail-Safe which, once seen, stays with you, being the super-tense account of a cold war incident which goes disastrously wrong. See that at the wrong age and you'll be scarred for life. Among the cast are big names like Henry Fonda and Walter Matthau. Slightly further down the bill are Larry Hagman and Sorrell Booke. Who? Well, that's JR Ewing, of course, and JD Hogg. Most people, including Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, referred to him as Boss Hogg. Died 20 years ago, poor chap.
One month back we were luxuriating in the loveliness of the Cookhouse. Today we're parked on the rough gravel to the rear of a transport caff, the topically titled Boss Hoggs. So it goes. Lined up out front are a BMW, a Merc and a Jag, all on offer from Select Prestige Motors. Not sure if the garage has the caff attached or t'other way around. Interior is a timeless blend of tiling on a roll and fixed chairs and tables in the great tradition of, say, Kesgrave Kitchen. Location scouting for your '70s noir Suffolk-set existential thriller? You've found it.
Today's special is the "mince & onion pie with potatoes and veg". Not quite feeling that, Andy has the straight bacon and egg sandwich. My eye and stomach catch on something weightier: corned beef and egg and chips. Come on! My other body is a temple and all that. Incidentally, wanting to keep in character, Sorrell Booke would happily devour the raw liver that was Boss Hogg's favourite food. Over to the solitary lady who's single-handedly running the place to power up the griddle and rustle up our short orders. There's more than one thick slice of corned beef on my plate. I knuckle down and get through it. Perfectly alright with a can of Diet Coke for balance. Non-Heinz ketchup, though?
On the far wall are details of the new arrangements for Operation Stack. On the near wall are driving jobs and ads for 20ft containers. Compared to our usual hang-outs, there's a notable absence of fine art for sale. Though it's nearing the 2pm closing time, we're not alone in here: other manly men, mostly in hi-viz, are occupying other tables. Not even Andy enquires as to the WiFi. Pudding time and it has to be today's sweet special, the syrup sponge and custard. My oh my, that is some retro goodness right there in a bowl. Andy's transported back to his student days of watching Twin Peaks. Good times, Enos, good times.
If it was a car -- Jaguar XJ6.
If they were passing by -- Donald Gee.
EDitorial ± 20-Apr-2014
130Story: Sun / Line / Cool / Ghost / Box
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Sun
August 1999. Crowds on the Civic Drive roundabout gazing heavenwards. Obscured by clouds, we trooped back in humming Bonnie Tyler. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 19, 2014
Line
Dead railway track along the dockside. Starts by the cafe, goes 200m, stops by the flats. Massively parallel. I walk those lines. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 18, 2014
Cool
Events spiralled. We called Hotpoint. AAA rated, that guy. Analyse. Assess. Act. Coolest head in town. Just don't touch his back. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 16, 2014
Ghost
When they're gone, me and the ghosts quit chasing. We kick back, grab some cherries or pop some pills. The missus doesn't approve. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 16, 2014
Box
Gym buddies. Her on the punchbag, me on the rowing machine. Saved rent by moving in together. She's a bouncer. I write. Box & Cox. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 14, 2014
EDitorial ± 13-Apr-2014
130Story: Eagle / Freeze / Table / Throw / Brain
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Eagle
Ten long years. Solar power failed. Battery at 2%. Aerial capability nil. One tinny onboard speaker. "Repeat. Beagle has landed." @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 11, 2014
Freeze
Sun's out. Park down by the front. Stroll and a Slushy. Then it hits, the sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. You what? Brain freeze. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 11, 2014
Table
Clamped goals to each end of the dining table and dug in sofa for 2p players and a 1p ball. Dulls v Shinies. Let's shove ha'penny! @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 10, 2014
Throw
Mid 1970s, Felixstowe beach. Throwing a stone, it misses the sea and hits my mother's head. Summer holiday fun in A&E. Sorry, mum. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 9, 2014
Brain
Aldo's go. We've all done it. Round to The Pink Lotus. Ask for fried monkey brain. Drives her mad, the lady. He's taking his time. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 7, 2014
EDitorial ± 6-Apr-2014
130Story: Boot / Crisp / Nature / Taken / Bone
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Boot
Destroyer closing, bearing 044! Dive, dive! Darling, what are you doing in there? I need to brush my teeth. Er...playing Das Boot? @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 4, 2014
Crisp
Golden hair. Wonderful eyes. Really good English. Leave that club. Let's skip town. She toyed with her salad. Her reply was crisp. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 3, 2014
Nature
Crispy gave me the idea. Ditch the Dyson. You won't notice after a month. A sneeze, maybe. Me, I'm like nature: we abhor a vacuum. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 2, 2014
Taken
Six of us trainees in room 402. Circling the chairs. The boss hit stop. We scrambled for seats. All taken. Sorry to lose you, Tim. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 1, 2014
Bone
Not broken, said doctor, but go to A&E. Not broken, said nurse, but we should take an X-ray. In plaster for six weeks. Was broken. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) April 1, 2014
EDitorial ± 1-Apr-2014
Costa Coffee, Wolsey's Gate
IPSWICH -- April 1st, 2014 -- Costa, the UK's favourite coffee shop, is delighted to announce a new pop-up store. Conveniently situated for both the waterfront and the town centre, our latest retail outlet is sited in Wolsey's Gate, Ipswich on College Street.
Breathing new life into this dusty old monument, we'll be delighted to take your order. To celebrate Wolsey's alliance with Spain, why not try a limited edition Cardinal Cortado with the slightest hint of sweet Spanish paprika?
Also, in a revolutionary move, we're very proud to be able to offer Costa-To-Go. Any Ipswich motorist will be familiar with the daily gridlock caused by the one-way system on Star Lane and College Street. To help alleviate this stress, we invite you to place your order at the Costa kiosk outside the Lord Nelson pub on Fore Street. We then guarantee to have your freshly made coffee ready for collection outside The Gate. Peak times only!
Costa in Ipswich
In the mid 1990s we opened (1) a flagship store on Queen Street opposite the
Giles statue, followed by (2) a smaller outlet upstairs in WH Smith on
Westgate Street. Next came (3) another major shop on the corner of Carr Street
facing the Great White Horse. Recently we've built new glass boxes near
(4) Toys R Us and (5) opposite Waitrose on Futura Park. Did we
mention the Costa Express garages on (6) London Road, (7) Woodbridge Road,
(8) Norwich Road, (9) Copdock, (10) Nacton Road and (11) by the Orwell Bridge?
We think you'll agree that Ipswich was crying out for another branch. Carry on, Costa!