One for sorrow. Of the three of us, I'm first there, never a good sign, and I'm going to have to explain the rules -- well, more guidelines -- to newest luncheoner Johnny. Seating, hot drinks, caffs. That Boathouse place, opposite Coffeelink, is very much a restaurant. Not there, said Johnny having turned up, next door, pointing to the Boathouse Deli, which is shut and devoid of life. Oh dear.

Cue manual rerouting and bike wheeling away from the Deben and into town, those racks outside Caffe Nero handy as ever. Right past hexpensive Honey & Harvey to the Turban Centre and into Two Magpies, here since early 2022 when it moved into the vacated Browsers bookshop, now about 50m away. More exposition required: 2M, who started life in Southwold, took over the Darsham Hamper as a bakery school from the Co-op -- see birthday mention here -- and have stealthily set up shops in N*rwich, Blakeney, Wells, etc. Ain't no Holting them.

Any thoroughfare up, we're here and, dispensing with the lunch menus, decide to go with a hand-picked selection from the droolingly good counter display. Emmenthal pizza bread, Moroccan sausage roll, foccacia, and an empanada, gracias. We'll bring them over, smiles the nice young woman. Whereupon Andy arrives to find out we've already ordered. Ten minutes later and we're all quite peckish: have they forgotten us? Takes a reminder for the plates to start arriving, though it's worth the wait, esp. the cheesy sourdough. Wasn't easy to divide two savoury scalene triangles into three, let me tell you. Good San Pellegrino pomegranate.

Employed me having bought the first course, over to recently free-as-a-bird Johnny to surprise us with some sweet treats. Arriving far more rapidly are fulsome pieces of seed cake, bread pudding and bundt, which it's left to me to finish off ahead of my return cycle ride to Martlesham, aided by a wowsers macchiato. Wonder if they'll copy Honey & Harvey and build an Ipswich nest? Regardless, it's two for joy.

If it was a car -- Fiat 124 Spider.
If they were passing by -- Jenny Hanley.

Don't hassle Amy Pond's daughter. Don't upset David Cartwright's grandson. And don't irritate the young Indiana Jones. For Jimmy Cliff was right: there are, to be sure, many rivers to cross.

Andy's fresh from his physio and all the better for his recently acquired massage gun, plus he's nabbed free waterfront parking on a secret side street. He's already slurping from a cold can when I walk in to the magnificent setting of St Mary-at-the-Quay, recently refurbed and looking not unlike St Stephen's; in fact there's a stage with a mic & keyboard all ready for Andy's one-man Erasure tribute act. For the last couple of years it's been home to the River Church, "an HTB network church plant" (?) who've been going from strength to strength and who've now expanded the brand with River Coffee.

Their menu is understandably limited at present so that'll be all the savoury options, please, namely sausage roll and steak slice and two bags of Pipers crisps (and a rhubarb Cawston's). Guy behind the counter is all smiles and doesn't try to upsell us on the Alpha course. We've got our pick of the comfy styling grey seats all under that stunning roof, and that background poppy music adds to the ambience. Seems like a lifetime ago that we lunched in St Lawrence, very much still open for business.

Good to see some other folk in here, this site being awkwardly placed 'twixt town centre and the dock. Just desserts left: both remaining slices of apple cake, ta v. much, and an affogato for Andy, throwing me back to Bawdsey. Helpful guy brings over the ice-cream scoop to our table then pours the espresso over it from a dainty glass receptacle; top service, there. All good, with River Church T-shirts and tote bags for sale, and good for the soul too.

If it was a car -- Lady Gaga's vintage blood red Rolls Royce
If they were passing by -- Rev Richard Coles.

Been a long wait since 2021 for the latest incarnation of The Swich's very own alt music festival. That'll be 'cos the powers that be swi'ched the time of year from October (brrr) to June (swoon). Also, that Sound City name is so last year, darling, so this one's called Brighten The Corners. And why not? Fished out my early bird order from way back in December 2022 and kicked off the weekend by flashing that QR code to the volunteers in The Ancient House. Cheers, they said, and here's a wristband for you. Sweet.

Finished WFH Friday and took my two wheels into town shortly after 5pm. First stop, St Stephen's church, the old tourist information site where I know I can lock my... Where's the bike parking gone? Oh well, that disused barrier will do, I guess. Flash my band and in we go.

Day 1 -- Friday (hot, dry)

• (17:30) Three Years Younger at St Stephen's -- East Anglian power pop harmonies, first to play newly refurbished church once they'd turned on the piano
• (18:10) Jessica Winter at The Baths -- nice back to the crowd start, discarded not one overcoat but two then a jacket, all layered over pulsing club EDM
• (18:45) Flip Top Head at St Stephen's -- four guitars, then trombonist put that down to pick up his own guitar; organic and over too soon
• (19:10) Ditz at The Baths -- quite the noise, intense and wonderful, stepping out with bleeding ears after ten minutes to catch...
• (19:30) RarelyAlways at Smokehouse -- immaculate beats and words in shades and sweatshirt; Is It Worth The Cost Of Further Uncertainty?
• (20:15) muva of Earth at Corn Exchange -- Badu vibes from harpist backed with double bass & keys; quality jazz reminded me of Emma-Jean Thackray
• (20:50) Lianne Kaye at Cornhill -- ate my jumbo sausage meal deal watching LK bang out some top tunes to some crazy outdoor dancers
• (21:15) O. at St Stephen's -- schedule gone away so missed entire set due to late start
• (21:30) Suep at Smokehouse -- messy Porridge broth -- "We love this city!" -- with everyone having a good time
• (22:10) Jehst at The Baths -- cut-above rap
• (22:30) 86TVs at Corn Exchange -- three guys lined up on their gee-tars; mighty popular Dad rock

Day 2 -- Saturday (hot, dry)

• (16:15) Antony Szmierek at St Stephen's -- had to queue to get in but pleased to catch charming AS do his excellent Loyle Carner meet the Happy Mondays
• (16:55) Gaffa Tape Sandy at Corn Exchange -- great noise from keen-as-a-bean Bury St Edm*nds trio
• (17:40) cowboyy at Smokehouse -- not sure they'd started, those three lads in black T-shirts, Black Midi-esque and heavy on the fx pedals; quick chat with Gaffa Tape Sandy while wandering in Tesco, as you do
• (18:20) Nuha Ruby Ra at The Baths -- solo female in cap and shades with terrific vocals riding on Lynchian rhythms c/w piercing screams
• (19:00) Triptides at Corn Exchange -- American friends from outta the 70s with relatable songs about life in LA
• (19:40) Kyoto Kyoto at Smokehouse -- relentless pounding while pinned to wall with vague view of female flautist; more fun that it sounds
• (20:05) Fat Dog at The Baths -- messianic figure, reverb set to 11, serious BPM and the moshing crowd in his sweaty hand
• (20:50) Karma Sheen at St Stephen's -- sitar and guitar and Triptides guys nodding along to the cosmic noodling
• (21:30) Rozi Plain at St Stephen's -- had great spot for mellow stylings of headliner who'd very much been to Crown Pools; crazy hot in there

...and still missed Heartworms, Memorials and The Go! Team.

About to cycle from town centre to Smokehouse post Triptides, stopped to help an obviously lost woman near the Giles Status wheeling a small case. Was none other than Nuha Ruby Ra ("I loved your set!"), very gracious and needing directions to Wagamamas. Down there, turn right, can't miss it.

Hats off, as per, to Joe and Marcus and the whole BTC team. More, please.

That particular Friday lunchtime, I called in at The Ancient House to claim my wristband for the inaugural Brighten The Corners music festival, starting that evening, then produced a pair of scissors from my pannier (what they doing there?) to help a woman cyclist cut her hoodie out of her bike chain. Sam-I-am Samaritan, I sauntered around the corner into the sun and strolled into our selected Ipswich sandwichery.

Inside were two seniors ordering at the counter: old pal Andy (who made his light lunch debut in April 2007) and newer pal Johnny (debut appearance February 2023) -- NB thanks to Johnny for providing lunch in the form of goodies from Suffolk Food Hall at his immaculate Kesgrave pad three weeks prior. Back to Ipswich and this is Arkana, open since January 2023 in what was, for yonkers, Alexandria Hair Artistry. Over there is the Halberd, while Bethesda stands over the road. They're big on the bagels here -- Italian salami and prosciutto for Andy, vegan hummus and avocado for me -- while go-it-alone Johnny has the sweet pepper and cheddar muffin. I'm admiring the big abstract artwork while they're choosing their milkshakes: me too, thanks. Apparently there's now a free table out front.

Extremely pleasant to occupy a continental style cafe seat in the shade, idly chatting about Jesus Jones and ebay-ed ticket stubs. Them's good shakes that join us outside, ditto the tasty savouries: guard your crisps and lettuce leaves, chaps, 'cos the wind's getting up. Charming service too, both in & out.

Coffee's decent, too, going by my cortado. Didn't really need my third share of toffee-apple cake and chocolate muffin at the time, but probably felt the benefit nine hours later while watching 86TVS at the Corn Exchange. Ideal pre-gig grub and long may it remainer.

If it was a car -- Renault Arkana
If they were passing by -- Ella Purnell.

Once he dug out his ID -- no pass, no entry, remember -- Andy's Bluemotion was directly outside my office in no time. Probably about two minutes later we pulled over into a layby between the Martlesham Park & Ride and Woodbridge roundabouts. Wouldn't want to walk it.

Here be Marco's Smokeshed, flag aloft and offering "locally sourced award-winning fresh produce", so not your typical burger van. Scary short stroll from the VW to the wagon feeling the wind of cars whipping by. Waited for guys ahead of us then decision time. Brie & cranberry from the specials board? For the driver, a bacon cheeseburger, and for his passenger, the double-everything bacon & egg & sausage in a tiger stick. Credit to Andy for producing £13.50 worth of coinage, plus another £2.40 for cans of Dr Pepper and Fanta Fruit Twist. With you in a minute, boys. Wonder if Jan's Baps is/are still going?

Really didn't take long before I was safely back in the low-emission car holding a burger box and a foil-wrapped baguette, reminiscent of Brightwell bus cafe, which seems like it's no more, alas. On to the Martlesham recreation ground -- chilly out, so stayed bemotored -- to enjoy our Friday fry-ups, and boy they were fantastic. Quality ingredients will tell.

Me particularly in need of my lunchtime jolt, last stop of the lunchtime at Greggs with mandatory cake-shaped item on the side. That Andy fella should do a YouTube masterclass on how to consume a vanilla slice.

If it was a car -- Marcos Mantis.
If they were passing by -- Marco Pierre White.