EDitorial ± 30-Jul-2017
130Story: Grant / Guarantees / Voice-Over / Thin / Abuse
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Grant
One whole year to read just one book. My thanks to the Arts Council. I'm delighted to be the first recipient of the Ulysses Grant. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 28, 2017
Guarantees
Waiting for my wok to rust
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 27, 2017
Expecting Le Creuset to bust
And my knives to bite the dust
Totally at ease
I've got all the guarantees#130story
Voice-Over
We were nodding off when my clock radio burst into life:
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 26, 2017
"Meet Dan. Married to Lisa, Dan feels trapped."
Curse that voice-over. #130story
Thin
Every day Mr Jones shuffles to the canteen for a bowl of leaves. Cashier Bob watches. That, he thinks, is the salad of a thin man. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 26, 2017
Abuse
After the Swiss open, Lendl insisted McEnroe try my famous dish. After one mouthful, he wolfed it down. This was raclette abuse. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 25, 2017
EDitorial ± 23-Jul-2017
130Story: Blessing / Fold / Jokes / Beta / Doctrine
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Blessing
In every secondhand I look
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 22, 2017
To land another Golden Notebook
You may count your blessings
But I like to count my Lessings #130story
Fold
Today Miss Russell told us that fact about a sheet of paper. I tried it at home. After the 21st fold, I gave the moon a tiny prod. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 20, 2017
Jokes
One year since the Bad Jokes Act became law. Sid, worse for wear, tries a knock-knock. Police take him away. No laughing matter. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 20, 2017
Beta
When father refused to buy the toy drum, Oskar found alternatives. He likes to flick his teeth. Tap his head. Listen. Beta rhythm. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 19, 2017
Doctrine
Whenever an old film appears with Dirk Bogarde and James Robertson Justice, Dad says we have to watch it. It's the house doctrine. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 18, 2017
EDitorial ± 17-Jul-2017
Latitude 2017
Worried about the glaciers, I offered a lift to/from Latitude
on the official Liftshare site. Leaving Ipswich around 9:30am on Sunday, I
said, then leaving the festival at 11:45pm. Any takers?
Chap got in touch early Saturday morning to say yes, that he and a friend would like a ride back to the 'Swich. We exchanged a couple of messages and agreed to meet outside the poetry tent, now renamed The Speakeasy. End of the day, approaching midnight on Saturday and cleaning my teeth, my phone beeped:
Hi, we are at the entrance of The Speakeasy. I have yellow trousers.
You're 24 hours early, I told him. I'm still at home.
Back on my Edward de Bono after wearing out friend Adam last year and I'm in the main arena by 10:45am, possibly a personal best. A rare daylight foray into the cabaret tent for the fantastically titled All We Ever Wanted Was Everything by Middle Child Theatre. Can't take your eyes off MC Marc Graham as he leads us through ten year jumps in the lives of Leah and Chris. An angelic asteroid, Build-A-Bear bathos and mention of Phil Brown.
Slingshot around the helter-skelter and around the back of the huge Katherine Jenkins crowd to the sunny Sunrise for pianist Lubomyr Melnyk, elderly master of continuous music and owner of some tremendous facial hair. Could have heard a pin drop in there. Able to catch ten minutes of local boys done good Rad Pitt at The Lake stage proclaiming "We're from Colchester slash Ipswich!" and giving it the full Stooges, then once more over the bridge for the awkwardly named Yorkston/Thorne/Khan. What we have here is a classic line-up of Scottish guitarist, Isle of Wight double bassist and a New Delhi sarangi player. It works, plus a welcome Ivor Cutler cover.
Heard promising opening track from Lisa Hannigan before taking my burrito to The Speakeasy (assume that yellow-trousered gents made it back, bless 'em) for a panel conversation with Women's Prize for Fiction winner Naomi Alderman, Turkish novelist Elif Shafak and women's equality party co-founder Catherine Mayer. Bombed out before the end for uphill slog past Simon Armitage to Obelisk and the phenomenon that is Public Service Broadcasting. National Coal Board imagery, a kicking horn section and a rain shower. New stuff noted, they did Spitfire to lure out the sun, helped also by Yuri the astronaut.
Tiny bit of classy classical guitarist Valerie Hartzell by the sofas surrounding the new BBC Music Introducing stage then hey, I really need a marshmallow-dipped Mr Whippy. Weird moment standing there: girl to my right reminded me of someone. Very similar face to that woman from Broadchurch and Attack The Block. Two minutes later, got an alert on my phone to inform me that Jodie Whittaker had been chosen. Most odd.
Very much looking forward to Otzeki and first couple of mins sounded excellent but chose to abandon them in favour of the music & film arena. Here be Kurupt FM from People Just Do Nothing. Grinder, Beats, Decoy and hero Steves are all up there leading the sweaty crowd to a frenzy over some choice drum 'n' bass, an exhilarating experience. Stayed there, sipping warm Pepsi, for DJ Yoda and his 90 minute immersive mix through videogame history, from Pong to GTA, morphing into clips and tunes from Stranger Things.
Glimpsed Loyle Carner going down a storm while en route, with five falafel wrap, to my choice of headliners, the retro yet modern Temples. They look great, they sound great, and lead singer James Bagshaw just seems really nice. Legs giving way, time to partake of the traditional bag o' doughnuts in the quieter confines of the speakeasy. Impressed by last few poems of Hollie McNish before the surprise of the night, the BAC Beatboxers. How do they make those noises? Finished with some beatbox battles won by the gawky frame of human dynamo ABH.
Left Trevor Nelson and Gareth Potter to their decks to traipse back up the slope and, wonder of wonders, find the car first time. Ain't it lovely to sit down?
...and still missed Fleet Foxes, Mount Kimbie and The Divine Comedy
EDitorial ± 16-Jul-2017
130Story: Fees / Injury / Brings / Windows / Failure
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Fees
"Know thyself. Trust your gut. Locate the inner you on our ten week course."
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 15, 2017
I was tempted until I saw the £300 intuition fees! #130story
Injury
At a drugs conference in Estonia, I tripped by the podium. It was painful dealing with both my injury and the Eastern bloc heads. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 14, 2017
Brings
Two suited men. The taller one, grinning, handed me an incredibly bright jar.
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 12, 2017
"Eric," said the shorter man, "brings you sunshine." #130story
Windows
"They want me done & dusted by 9am. All sparkling, all free of smears, all windows."
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 11, 2017
He sighed.
"I remember when this was a doss." #130story
Failure
"For my best man. Has everything. Needs bringing down a peg."
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 11, 2017
It eyed me from behind the counter.
"Fool. Failure is not a potion." #130story
EDitorial ± 12-Jul-2017
Ipswich Lunches: Cafe Central
He may now be a
man of leisure
keeping busy on the crown green or at the local
heavy horse centre but The Boy Andy remains determined to hit each and every
cafe. Nearing 4pm on (what for some of us remains) a working Wednesday and a
message arrives proposing a possible meet-up in the west Ipswich locale.
Calls are made, cycles are ridden and we're strolling along past the Towers of Cumberland along the multicultural Norwich Road. More or less opposite what was previously O Portugues but is now the thriving Bicafe stands, waddya know, a similarly wide Portuguese coffee shop called Cafe Central.
With memories of long-gone Frangipani, there appears to be more than one door. Like Donna Noble, we turn left. Not entirely sure what's on offer, we like the look of Ucal "leite com chocolate" in a glass bottle. May as well partake of that cake there and that cake there too, please, senhor. Table by the window to watch the sweet folk of the town pass by. Big telly's showing athletics, noisy kids are running around and there's a bunch of fellas drinking beer. We're so at home.
Cake the first, a sugary delight. Cake the second, more savoury than sweet, truth be told. Choccy milkshake consumed -- ah! -- back goes Andy for a pair of tiny coffees. Zing! Now the hairs on my chest have their very own hairs. Screen on the wall switches to cycling, we're bouncing off the walls and time to leave the vibrant Iberian community behind.
If it was a car -- PORTARO.
If they were passing by -- Nelly Furtado.
EDitorial ± 9-Jul-2017
130Story: Reviewing / Nice / Trees / Moving
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Reviewing
Vic's life is reviewing films. Reissues can fetch four stars, new releases three at most, until Vic sees an unknown name: Pixar. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 8, 2017
Nice
A Nice Guy
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 6, 2017
Took
A Nice Girl
For A Nice Drink
And A Nice Meal
Then Realised Come The Dawn
That He Should Not Have Had The Prawns #130story
Trees
We lay side by side among the gravestones.
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 4, 2017
"Trees," she said. "Got a favourite?"
Branches danced above us.
"Yep," I said. "Yew."#130story
Moving
After a lifetime of lifting and shifting, Joe passed on. His family's decision to play Right Said Fred made for a moving tribute. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 3, 2017
EDitorial ± 7-Jul-2017
A Kind Of Hush
(75 word short story published on
Paragraph Planet
on Friday 07-Jul-2017)
By 7pm, the beach was rammed, those who’d brought rugs long since forced to stand.
Once the handful of local bobbies had given up trying to disperse the crowd, the prom grew similarly chocka.
I’d secured my spot on the pier late afternoon and was now pinned against the handrail.
Approaching 9pm, sun teetering on the horizon, parents shushed their kids.
As one, we pointed our phones at the vermilion sky and waited.
EDitorial ± 2-Jul-2017
130Story: Houses / Rich / Crashed / Deposits
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Houses
Ken, head of planning, unwraps today's packages in his loft. Old Monopoly sets provide limitless houses for his model of the town. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 1, 2017
Rich
Buddy doesn't trust banks and insists on being paid in cash. Debt-free, he always buys a round. Workmates call him Buddy Rich. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) June 29, 2017
Crashed
I helped father-in-law install his DairyMatic 101. Power on. We ran for cover as it bashed and churned and crashed and burned. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) June 27, 2017
Deposits
Parents asleep, Jed hunts. Bar stool, work surface, top cupboard. Here's the tin with its vast deposits of Gold chocolate bars. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) June 27, 2017