Wifey's away, she's jet-planed abroad
Drove her to Heathrow and now she's offshored
Attending a course in the city of Prague
Could tell you more but the details are vague

Me and the kids, I'm sure we'll be fine
PE kit and colours, peg out on the line
Rise early, wake girls, three lunches to pack
Wave them off, go to work, then welcome them back

Remember to feed (a) the kids (b) the cat
Is that lamb on my plate? Do I not like that!
You'll eat it and like it, you ungrateful nippers
Tomorrow, play safe, we'll have chicken dippers

What swimming gala? You need me to come?
Can't Nana attend, or Grandad? Would Mum?
Sorry, don't know where your black trousers are
On the stairs? In the wash? Have you looked in the car?

Before she gets back, should we think about cleaning?
Empty bins, rinse the shower, let's go Mr Sheen-ing
Tidy hall, fetch the mop, that floor's a disgrace
And please put that tea towel back in its place